Oh I had more to say but got distracted.

My XH wanted me to leave him alone, but he didn't want a divorce. He just wanted me to shut up and 'get off his a$$'.

I came to a place of acceptance about that. I certainly 'let go' of any dream I had of having a good marriage with him. I would have ridden it out and made the best of it and been appreciative for the good parts of my life. I had a hole in my life, but I was not unhappy. My life was mostly full....I would have done my best to stay out of his way---the adultery pushed me over the edge.

Once I got to MB (after one of the OW incidents) I realized that our 'disconnect' was the way he ended up in an affair.

So, now, I counsel my friends to honor their marriage vows even when unhappy and even when they can't get their spouse on board to have a happy marriage...but I can't shake the feeling that a lot of those marriages will ultimately end up in divorce due to adultery.

I hope that is not the case with you CWMI.

What do YOU think you should do?