Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
Wife fell asleep tonight early like I fell asleep last night so UA a problem. We need help with kids big time. Good day just no UA and everything I read says we need 25 hours a week. We are more like 10 at most. Can u get your best ten tops.

1. Sit down and schedule out the time, writing out dates and times. Make it a habit of putting everything else second to your UA time. Lose the attitude that you might do it if you have time: MAKE TIME by making it your biggest priority. IT IS. If something gets put aside, make it something ELSE other than your UA time.

2. hire babysitters

3. Like Markos suggested, schedule your UA time for times that you are not exhausted. Schedule it for your best times, like maybe 5 pm during the week and 1pm during the weekend along with Saturday night


This really struck a cord with me. I've always felt that if something is a priority, then you'll make time to make it happen. It could be losing weight, going to the gym, spending time with kids, spending time with spouse, etc. Clearly my wife and I historically have chosen not to make our marriage a priority and changing that behavior means we both have to move outside of our comfort zones and just "go for it." I don't have a good feel yet for asking for things that are my EN's. I get the courage to do so and if I get shot down I tend to take it as a sign not to ask again. What I want to work on is regrouping, changing some terms or details of the request, and then try again.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD