I could drink copious amounts of alcohol or have a steamy sordid affair with an 18-year-old freshman at my school. Or both! laugh

I'm kidding, of course. I have no idea. If he is a sociopathic narcissist, there's nothing I CAN do but remove myself.

He makes no sense to me, at all! With the overheard conversation thing, he was back to his benefit-of-the-doubt plea, that if only I would give him the benefit of the doubt, everything would be fine. Then two days later, I find out another thing I gave him the benefit of the doubt on--planning our anniversary weekend--blew up all over me. I mean, it makes sense that someone without empathy would argue that the problem is that the other person is disappointed, not that they themself disappointed anyone, because they are perfect and wouldn't DO something like that. That makes sense in an 'understanding personality disorders' way.

I am also terrified of NOT being around when he has the kids, assuming he would actually take them, and I think he might as many other people have reported that their ex suddenly wanted to be father of the year, and his public image rests a lot on him being able to say this or that about his kids. If we lived apart, he wouldn't hear about anything to relay to others, he would have to actually participate. Right now he can get away with an hour every evening, but if we hit visitation there would be full days where he would have them, maybe even full weeks. It almost seems that the thing to do with a PD parent is to maintain the ability to be present for all interactions with the kids. He hasn't done anything that would warrant a court ordering supervised visitation, and the kids are too young to have a say. KWIM? It's not like he beats them, but as I asked him the other day, "Did you just use sarcasm as a discipline tool with a 6yo?" AFAIK, that's not illegal or deemed dangerous to a child. It's just ugly and non-productive.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)