In some ways, we have similar husbands, CWMI. I've heard the same remarks about "feelings" from my DH that you hear from yours.

But with your anniversary, I believe your DH made a genuine mistake. I think he had all intent to go on that romantic weekend. I believe he got a verbal ok and forgot to do a written follow-up and set the plans in stone. He probably figured he'd take care of wrapping up the details in the short term, and things fell off the radar.

I think he forgot to secure the plans,and once it was too late, he realized his error and felt sheepish about it.

And I also believe he is afraid of hurting you and of your wrath over his forgetfulness.

But if he was just blowing you off way back in Feb. and didn't intend to go, your brother wouldn't have been asked to come keep the kids. NPD's wouldn't make that type of move, only to have egg on their face. Neither would a sociopath.