Don't let her criticism of you become a reason for you to not try to meet her emotional needs. If you have tried in the past and been criticized, incorporate the criticism into your plans for trying again in the future. Don't give up. Meeting your wife's emotional needs is a complicated habit that you will be able to make improvement on all your life.

Her criticism is a disrespectful judgment, and it's a problem that you want her to solve in order to make your marriage better. Dr. Harley has worksheets for that. wink Try again to meet her emotional needs, and if you get criticized, communicate it to her through the worksheet and CONTINUE to try to meet her emotional needs.

Just a couple of posts back you mentioned that you caught yourself "behaving badly." You didn't give us a lot of details, but I surmise there were selfish demands, disrespectful judgments, and/or angry outbursts involved. I am certain that it caused pain to your wife and probably made her feel like giving up. Do you want your wife to stop trying to meet your emotional needs as a result, or do you want her to keep trying to meet your emotional needs and be patient with you while you learn to eliminate SDs, DJs, and AOs? If you want her to be patient with you and continue trying to meet your emotional needs, then I suggest you also be patient with her and continue to try to meet hers.

You will get better, and she will have less to criticize. And she will learn to eliminate criticism and communicate with respectful complaints, instead.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 17 years, who is a beautiful angel.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.