There were all three of those and yes I caused pain to my wife and postponed the healing and meeting of EN's. The difference is that I learned from our last question to always ask my wife what she means or how she is feeling rather than just guessing, making assumptions based on the situation, and coming to my own conclusions. This is what I've done since the beginning of my journey with MB and always gets me in to trouble. I learned it is ok to ask my wife if she is irritated at me without offending her. She can answer me "no" or "yes because of this" and we can go about our day. Prior to this revelation I would not ask her, assume she was irritated at me, try and figure out why she was irritated, realize there was nothing to be irritated about, realize that I didn't do anything to make her irritated, then get mad because she was irritated at me for no reason, then lash out with a DJ or SD to retaliate, when in reality there was nothing of the sort taking place.

I also learned to ask for things from her. This morning before I left I said, "I love big hugs in the morning before I leave for work." Know what she did? She gave me a big hug and a kiss.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD