Originally Posted By: aBetterMe
Hilltopper,

I'm not sure about Markos, but at least from my perspective, a feeling of cheeriness is not the feeling of resolute determination. I associate cheeriness with flightiness and distraction. What your wife needs is focus, concious thought at every moment, every interaction. You truly need to "THINK before you speak", meaning you are literally pausing and considering the words you've heard PRIOR to opening your mouth. This giddiness is a distraction. Buckle down and do the work.


This is what is so tough about forums, particularly for people like me who verbalize much better than communicate via words. I was happy how the entire day went yesterday and I wanted to share that with you all. I wasn't remotely concerned about me, I was happy that I did all of the things you say above. I didn't utter a word, nor send a text without thinking about how my words would sound to my wife. I asked her what she meant if I wasn't sure. I didn't make any assumptions. For example, she declined the bath that I offered her after dinner. She said "maybe tomorrow night". I said sure and was done with it. I didn't assume she was rejecting my attempt to make her happy, in fact I didn't assume anything. If my expression of cheerfulness came off as "everything is fine now" then I apologize as that was not my intention. Everything is not fine and I'm making every effort to not head down the path I have before.


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD