Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
I want to agree when the time comes on everything with my wife, including but not limited to how and when my needs are met. Again, I'm not worried about this at the present time.

You DO need to be worried. You know of the skills but are still a student. You need to be hyper-aware of every interaction. It is still likely you will feel hurt when your expectations of her behavior get the better of you. Today is an "up day", tomorrow could easily be a "down day". You may make a mistake and AO or DJ your wife. Habits do not change overnight.

Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
Haven't had a chance to test this yet as I haven't been irritated about anything. A lot of this has to do with how I view things differently.

Again, be hyper aware. You are LEARNING to see things differently but until you REACT in a different way, you are stil a student. Tests will come. Be sure you handle them appropriately.

Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
No journaling, venting, or score keeping. She can do whatever she wants, I'm really trying to eliminate doing the same things that got me in to trouble before.

Be careful because you HAVE kept score in the past. This has caused you to DJ and AO your wife when she hasn't lived up to your expectations. Again, habits die hard. What specifically are you going to do to recognize when you are keeping score and what are you going to do specifically to curb it?

Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
I didn't try to "fix the problem" like I usually do to eliminate her feeling overwhelmed. She doesn't like that. I merely told her that "I get it."

You should follow up with a question, such as "Is there anything I can do to help?". In my book, that would show affection, effort and domestic support.


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Together 14 years, married 12
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