Btw, CWMI, I'm happy to read that you had a great Mom's Day. I liked the spontaneity of drinking the Dom, instead of saving it for the anniversary. I think it mellowed the moment so you two would relax and let your guard down.

As far as the calendar, that stinks. But your post makes it seem like he thought he had sent it to you, but was mistaken. It also shows that he is flying by the seat of his pants at work...he isn't looking at that calendar for reference, he's going along on auto-drive.

But those are my assumptions.

Just because someone is successful in business doesn't mean they are successful in personal relationships. Oprah's a perfect example.

OCD aside, this could be a lack of understanding how to balance work life and home life on your DH's part. These skills have to be learned somewhere and it sounds like they weren't modeled to your husband by his parents. If that's the case, he doesn't know how to combine a work and personal life. Work is in the "work" compartment and "personal" is in its compartment. He knows how to do his work successfully and success is measurable: sales, bonuses, income, reviews, accolades, etc. He's successful at work and work is probably the top thing that translates success into his personal life. His work provides for the financial and material well-being of his family. Since it's this way, he will focus more on work (and doubly so if the work environment is where he gets an admiration or recreational EN met).

In many ways, you are competing against that very same thing which provides for your life and your family's life. And you're going to have to sell your husband on why it's in his best interest to make changes, esp if what he's doing allows his family to have/be so different from that misery that I perceive he grew up in.

Sell the salesman.

Live, love, and laugh because the best is yet to come!