I told my wife I'd get back to her on this because I don't know the answer. I'm at jury duty today, wife sent a text saying it felt weird that I didn't hug her when I left this morning. I told her I thought it was strange she didn't hug me either. I said there was nothing wrong and everything is good. She told me to ask her next time for a hug and yesterday she reminded me to ask her fir things. So I sent her a note back saying, "it would be great if you initiated the affection(hugs) sometimes.". She replied back that I should not put those expectations on her because they make her feel lousy. I'm confused. She told me to ask, so I did, but then she said not to put expectations on her cause she feels bad. Was I selfish? Disrespectful? I'm certain I wasn't angry. She also said she had planned on giving me a hug but I left before she got the chance. This is very common. My wife frequently tells me she was planning on doing xyz after the fact. I told her that I wasn't sure exactly why but that it makes me feel bad when she does that. We left off with her requesting we postpone needs for a week to which I replied, "can I get back to you on that?"

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD