Eventually you will have a written plan to meet your wife's emotional needs, kind of like the plan to avoid LBs that you put together yesterday. You will have a list of things you want to try to do everyday, probably some things you want to do every week, etc. They are basically new habits to form.

A great habit for you to form would probably be: give my wife a hug every day when I leave, and tell her I love her. This will make love bank deposits into your account in her love bank. That is a good thing, so it's a net win. smile

She will also be putting together a plan at some point.

But there's no reason you can't start, now. Even if that's all you put on your plan, for the moment.

She wants a hug. She'll feel better about that hug if you just give it to her instead of having a complicated discussion that brings up something you would also like (in this case, a hug). Focus on the need she brought up and a plan to meet it. When you introduce your own needs in response to her needs, she perceives it as YOU AVOIDING THE SUBJECT OF HER NEEDS. That's probably not what you intend to do, but that's how she sees it!


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 17 years, who is a beautiful angel.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.