Markos I hear you and am on board. What I keep asking and still don't have the answer for is the following. She told me to ask her fir affection so I did just that. Her answer was don't put expectations on me. I sent my wife a long plan specifically pertaining to expectations she has if me and I have of myself. When she tells me not to place expectations on her I don't feel enthusiastic about our arrangement. The expectation of me us that I avoid LBs. She is not however ok with me asking to initiate affection, hugs, etc. The specific reason I asked her if she would be ok initiating affection is because each time I ask my wife to hug me, hold my hand, sit next to me I feel even less important than not having asked at all. Does that make sense?

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD