Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
Btw, do I ever get the benefit of the doubt from you markos? From my perspective you have decided what went down incorrectly and furthermore assume it is something I make a habit of. Not cool.

What exactly are you referring to here? I haven't once gotten the impression that Markos doesn't give you the benefit of the doubt. Actually, I think you could learn a lot from what he says whether it's hard for you to hear or not. Constructive criticsm is to be considered and appreciated. You don't need to defend yourself and if you get a 2x4, it's meant to help. Just clarify if you think something is misconstrued. Also, keep in mind that a lot of the things you've said in the past where you felt the need to re-explain yourself so we could "better see you were right" didn't turn out that way. You have a lot to learn. Let down your guard and open your heart and ears.

Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
I'm working hard and I cone to you for advice yet you repeatedly come to conclusions that nearly always attempt to point out me being a jerk when nothing of the sort took place.

You may not think you were a jerk in a certain instance, but we hear of hurt feelings from Grace often. And honestly, your attitude in the past, even today, comes across as kind of "jerky" and "hard-headed". I'm wondering if today you're taking out your frutration with Grace here with us instead. Better to do it here of course, but it's really not going to get you where you want to be. You have A LOT of people here that have been in your shoes and dedicate time out of there day (and have for years) to come here and walk you through a process that is PROVEN to work. If you want it to work for you, you have to STOP FIGHTING IT.

Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
I am here to follow the plan and ask a lot of questions not defend myself over nothing. I would appreciate you helping me create love in my marriage and I don't believe your assumptions do that very well.

If this is what you're here to do, then start listening, following in the advice and REALLY REALLY think about whether or not your TRULY "defending yourself over nothing". We're all here trying to help you create love but so far you haven't gone more than a few days without reverting to your bad habits. You have to accept that this is a process. 2 or 3 days of "bliss" do not equal a lifetime of easy sailing. I'm concerned you expect this and get frustrated when you don't get it. It's going to be a long road. I've been doing this for over a year and am just beginning to truly experience what I've wanted to badly.

I should mention that as soon as I accepted responsibility for my own LB's and embraced what I felt were the most difficult aspects of MB, I wasn't making much progress. I think that right now, if something is really really hard for you to do, but you KNOW it's right, there is a hang-up of some kind you need to address within yourself. At least that was the case for me.


Me 33
DH 35
Together 14 years, married 12
Two "furry children" (one cat & one dog)

MB has changed me and changed my life. I am becoming a better person for it, and building a better marriage. MB principles can truly help you create the love and the life you want.