Hill, I think you and your wife should repeat what you think the other person meant. Often what we say and what we mean do not come across the same to each other.

I don't have any great examples off the top of my head. My wife used to infer a lot of things when she would say things and then get frustrated because I didn't read between the lines.

So we started with the "Okay, I hear you saying that ....."

And she would say, "No, I meant that...."

Awesome! Now we're both on the same page.

This alleviates all the reading into and trying to decipher and wondering if she really meant A when she said A or if she really means B.

Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)