Originally Posted By: kilted_thrower
Hill, I think you and your wife should repeat what you think the other person meant. Often what we say and what we mean do not come across the same to each other.

I don't have any great examples off the top of my head. My wife used to infer a lot of things when she would say things and then get frustrated because I didn't read between the lines.

So we started with the "Okay, I hear you saying that ....."

And she would say, "No, I meant that...."

Awesome! Now we're both on the same page.

This alleviates all the reading into and trying to decipher and wondering if she really meant A when she said A or if she really means B.


We are doing much better at this. I've asked my wife to communicate a little more clearly even on the small stuff like grocery lists, etc. We had an incident awhile back where she wrote "can of tomatoes" on the list. I grabbed a can of tomatoes but the recipe called for "tomato sauce" which is what she had meant in her mind. She's been doing much better and when I'm not sure what she meant I've been asking.

In an unrelated topic we have a bit of a disconnect on timing when it comes to thoughtful requests. My wife's version of a request would be, "can you fix the toilet paper roll holder?", or, "It would be great if you could help me organize my stuff in the garage." These are perfectly fine, however I'm never sure WHEN to fulfill them. I asked her if we could make "honey do" lists with specific dates and times and plan for them. That way I believe will lead to less disappointments, do you agree?


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD