Some reading material for you, maybe to look over tomorrow:

* http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3600_state.html

Your wife is in withdrawal. The reason she is in withdrawal is your love busters.

Rather than doing much reading here now, though, I have the following suggestions:

* Relax and calm down
* Apologize again to your wife. There was no excuse for getting disrespectful and hot with her, even if she is not meeting your emotional needs and even if you are scared that this is somehow not going to work.
* Invite your wife to do something fun with you. If she accepts, spend the time talking about NON-relationship issues that are light and pleasant and enjoyable for her, encouraging her to communicate with you.
* If she declines the invitation, pick another emotional need and try to meet it. Domestic support, maybe? Are there dishes in the kitchen you could wash or something? Do something nice with the kids for family commitment?
* Try again on meeting those needs tomorrow.

Don't forget that rule number one for you is to calm down. Can you stay calm while she is in withdrawal and feeling negative over the events of the day?