Originally Posted by Prisca
Hilltopper ...
I like you ... you seem like a guy who desires nothing but the best for his family ...

but ...


You are not currently following the program. This program will not work unless you follow it.

You've got a wife who is on board and willing to give it a try ... for the moment. The only person who can't seem to see that is you.

You are going to find yourself in this same hellhole (or worse) a year from now unless you get yourself under control. The abuse and pity parties have GOT TO STOP.

I'll be on the radio show today if you want to tune in about noon CST. That way you can hear the person who isn't working the program live. Yes you heard it here first folks, grab your popcorn and listen to Hilltopper try and convince Dr Harley and his wife that its not his fault and his wife is to blame!

Seriously I'd love for you all to listen and I'd like your feedback.

I have my workbook in front of me. I'll share a bit and maybe you can help me deal with some of the things I feel particularly how to communicate them to my wife. There is a couple of LBs and an EN.

Selfish Demands:

1. Much of the communication from my wife begins with, "I need", "Can you get me", or "Will you do this for me?" I feel an inequity because I ask for very little. For example today, I stayed home to work from home office. My wife asked me to take son to school even though she knows I should be working. I paused for a moment, then said, "I really need to be working." She began to tear up and I felt manipulated. I would love to get more ideas on how to say "no" to my wife without her getting angry or upset. I'd also like some advice on how to ask for things from my wife more without feel like I'm troubling her.

Disrespectful Judgements:

1. I feel bad when I express my feelings which is why I so frequently clam up. My attempts to express my feelings are almost always met with, "You just took it wrong" or "You just reading into things" or "That is not what I meant". This make me feel like not bringing up my feelings and that my wife doesn't believe they are valid. I like some ideas on how to express my feelings better or how to respond to my wife when she won't validate my feelings.


1. I have a strong need or desire to have physical contact with my wife. To be cared for and empathized with. I'd like for my wife to bring me soup when I'm sick, or show interest when I've had a bad day at the office. I'd like for her to sit next to me on the couch and put her hand on my leg. I'd like for her to hug me back when I hug her. I'd like to feel loved. I'd love to get some help in providing my wife feedback so that the affection she gives me because a habit.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD