Originally Posted by Prisca
Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
When you were going through this did the phrase KNOCK IT OFF really get you motivated?

During the trauma I caused in our marriage last year, no, it is NOT something I would've wanted to hear. BUT, how I wish some kind soul had hit me over the head with those words and showed me what I was doing to my marriage.

When you're not following the program (i.e. DJing your wife in spite of your plan, not meeting her EN and not providing her with an ENQ) and persist in having pity parties, your marriage is going to fail. Horribly. In light of a devastated home, "knock it off" seems rather tame.

No real frustration here, Hill. Something I learned while here that really helped me: If something someone on this board says ruffles your feathers, listen and take notes. There's probably a reason it bothers you, and the problem probably doesn't lie with the messenger. Usually. smile

Understood and I'm not shooting the messenger. Throughout my life I've just never responded to that type of reinforcement, not in sports, school, by parents, etc. I respect what you are doing and understand it perfectly fine, I was just asking for me personally to remove that vernacular as I haven't found it to make me feel more motivated, just less so. Thanks again for everything.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD