Thanks for all the advice. I realize now that I relayed the story from last night and kind of presented it as an attempt at UA. My wife and I are clear that UA time is to be spent alone, there is 100% agreement on that. This dinner with friends we had setup awhile ago. What I was focusing on by relaying the story was getting advice on making my wife comfortable leaving her baby in the care of others. There is quite literally no time aside from the end of the day. Baby gets up really early so unless we want to get up at 5am, it might be hard. I'd really like to think that we'll need to just get better at finding people that my wife feels good about and trusts. I don't think she felt that last night.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD