Thanks for the vote of support, but it is not huge.

The problem in my life these days is not Mrs. Hold. It is me. I have in fact given up on working toward happiness. Or any other goal. I am just drifting along waiting to die. Not trying to get ahead at work. Not trying to reconcile with Mrs. Hold. Not pursuing friendships to enrich my life. Just muddling through at work each day waiting to get home and anesthatize myself with computer games until I go to bed and then get up and repeat the cycle.

I didn't say those things because I care about our marriage. I said those things out of fear. I know I am not meeting Mrs. Hold's needs. I know she is therefor vulnerable to an affair. I know I would feel pain if she had an affair. So I said what I needed to say to help reduce the chance that she will pursue the affair. But that doesn't mean I am willing to make the changes required to meet her needs. I am not.

Forget the ECT. I just want to be put down.