Ugh, I forgot how totally depressing anniversary cards are...I would really like to be able to buy one of them that says, "You are my rock, you have always been there for me and loved me so thoroughly, etc..." They just make me cry. I did find an apt one, though; it's about dreams for the future and sharing and waking up every morning beside him for the rest of my life.

I've been thinking a lot about why it's important to me that he let this guy know the truth of the situation. I already know they talk about their marriages with each other (um, heard it!), so it's not like it would be a new topic of conversation, so that would lessen any awkwardness about bringing it up. I'm thinking of it like 'peer pressure', something that happened a lot with the old group of guys H worked with. The guys (mostly young, single, and childless) would talk about their adventures, and my H ended up feeling like he was missing out. So me and the children were villianized as the THINGS keeping him from THAT life, that big fun one everyone was talking about.

So, he knows I'm a no-go on hunting. Let me back up a second to last night...he said that he never told me about hunting because he didn't have any friends here who hunted, he'd gotten rid of his equipment when he moved here (he probably should have checked out the local culture and held onto it, lol), so it was a non-issue, and besides, "It's a guy thing so I wouldn't have talked about it with you anyway." (!!! Funny, I don't remember a whole lot of times that he started conversations about shopping and manicures in order to talk about 'girl things' with me, lol. I digress...)

Anyway, so he knows I'm a no-go on it, but he's engaging in conversations about it, and even though I know it's a DJ to predict the outcome, I do have it on pretty good authority of experience that the more he talks about it, the more he will want it, and then he will vilify me as keeping him from what he wants so much to the point where I'm dehumanized in his eyes. So it seems the best thing to do would be to avoid it, like an alcoholic would avoid friends who invited them to bars. kwim? An alcoholic can have friends who drink, but they have to be aware of the problem and be supportive...not encourage the alcoholic to drink. If this guy doesn't know the damage that may be brought from encouraging my H to go hunting, he won't know how to be supportive of our marriage. I would like for my H to surround himself with people who support our marriage, and avoid those who don't. I don't think this guy is unsupportive. I just think he doesn't know.

Does that make sense?

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)