Originally Posted By: SusieQ
What types of things did you two do while you were falling in love? Try to ask her to do these things with you.

I know you mentioned the walk was enjoyable, maybe you could start there, ask her if she would be willing to have a sitter come to the house 1-2 times a week for an hour or so so that the two of you can go on a long walk. Maybe this will help to ease her into using a babysitter... (Make sure this UA time is very enjoyable for her if it happens!)

I am going to recommend that if in a few weeks time if she is still refusing to schedule the UA time with you & refusing to use babysitters that you email back the radio show. (Don't threaten her with this or anything along those lines) I believe Dr Harley's advice for you was based on your comments that she was willing to spend UA time with you but finding good babysitters was an issue.


Susie Q, I think both my wife and I are spending more time that we did before which is a good thing! We are aware that we need to "plan" UA time more than we currently are now which is where the sticking point is. I've felt for a long time I'm not really the one to plan our social calendar, my wife has always assumed that role. Because of this I not only am not in the practice of deciding when and where we spend UA time, but when I do suggest it get a bit of push back at times. Its not an, "I don't want to", it is more of a "we'll see..." That is where I don't know what to do next. I take that as kind of a push off. On top of this the babysitting relationships include her parents, a daughter of her friend, and potentially two other of her friends she has so it would seem odd for me to circumvent my wife's relationships to plan the date, you know?


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD