Spoke with Dr Harley again today, it was well worth it. He seems to think our third child has become a catalyst for depression for both of us. She is a blessing, don't get me wrong, but it has changed our lives so dramatically that we are both drowning. He said it is very difficult for love bank deposits to have much of an effect when someone is in a state of depression. The fact that we are both depressed is worse. When we reach out to each other for help because we are drowning, the other spouse says, "yeah I'm drowning too, sorry got nothing for ya!" In fact this exact thing happened last night. Specifically Dr Harley wants both of to explore anti-depressants to feel better about life in general. I'm calling my doctor today because I don't want to feel like this anymore. I asked my wife if she would do the same. Secondly he suggested we both read HNHN for Parents fast. He hammered home the point of spending time away from the kids. We HAVE to arrange for babysitters for an entire day or an overnighter because the hour or two at night playing Scrabble just ain't cutting it.