Independent behavior is not the solution to that.


And you are not in a sexless relationship.

This kind of ultimatum is more appropriate when you have actually been working this program well. When you have eliminated demands, disrespect, anger, independent behavior, and you are meeting your wife's needs, and she is still not meeting yours, then that may be an option. There's an article about that kind of situation, but you'll see Dr. Harley only advocates such ultimatums when he's supervised a man working his program flawlessly: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8111_quit3.html


We've established that you have NOT done a good job meeting Grace's emotional needs and avoiding love busters. You have made improvement, but you're still falling into the love busters about once a week. (From my vantage point it looks like this is some improvement over about once every three days. But of course I can't see clearly over the internet. And the important point is that they are not eliminated.)

You are going to have to do a stellar job of this and cause Grace to fall back in love with you. There is simply no other way. She is almost certainly going to feel in love with you before she gets to the point where her instincts are prompting her to meet your needs naturally and you begin to fall back in love with her. There is no other way.

Your children are depending on you.