Originally Posted by markos
Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
Originally Posted by SusieQ
HT, I would apologize for drinking the wine when she had asked you not to and leave it at that.

It would be good in the future for you to call your W and discuss the wine before you even buy it.

I just apologized and asked her again to plan with me. I sent her a note last night about specific days we might have wine nights and ones we don't. She hasn't replied to it.

Are you willing to quit the wine altogether if she's not enthusiastic about it?

If you agree that you can drink wine Thursdays but next Thursday she says "You drinking wine tonight is not going to work for me after all," are you willing to follow the POJA and skip it that night?

I'll quit wine, I'll take up knitting if it means I can have a happy marriage. What I can't do is fly by the seat of my pants and have all parts of our life "up in the air" and in limbo. I asked my wife last night to play me like a fiddle so that all her wishes and desires would come true. I asked if she could work on not making me guess so much on when or how she wants something. In other words, "please honey just answer my questions directly." "please say what you mean and mean what you say so I don't get confused so much." "please respond to my emails with answers so I know what the answer is." As I sit here in my office as we speak there are no plans for tonight. I don't know what to expect, I'll do whatever she wants to do, and I'm almost always willing to, but I just never know until the moment is upon us and that is maddening to keep up with.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD