Originally Posted by rubydoo
Quote
Ultimately my wife has problems with my Mom and two sisters. I can't help her repair this, I can only support her. I typically don't like to discuss the "who's fault is it" because I'm compromised on what I believe to be true vs supporting my wife.


Calling your mother and talking(venting) about your wife and/or marriage does not support your wife and typically will fan the flames of their conflict.

If I remember correctly, you posted previously about grace wanting to call your parents to get their "help" with your marriage/you and you were far from happy about this. Why was it okay for you to do it but not okay for grace?

For me, it is always helpful to ask myself, "Would I want my spouse to do this?" If the answer is no...then don't do it!

I described it as "my mom throughout a life raft and I took it." She noticed a change in her son, she knew something was not right. The purpose of the call was my company that I own, it is becoming a legal issue with my partner so I filled my Mom in on what was happening, because is is devastating, I've been back stabbed and it hurts like heck. I was emotional, she asked how my wife and I were, and I paused for like two minutes, and she knew immediately we were not doing well either. So while I reached out to my Mom for different reasons, I still shared some things with her in a moment of weakness that my wife didn't want me to share and that was wrong. I've since apologized. I made sure and let my Mom know at the end of the conversation that what is between Grace and I is between Grace and I alone, but that I appreciated her kind words of encouragement.

As to me rejecting my wife's idea of an "intervention" with my Dad, I guess I just didn't see what it really meant. People on the forum suggested it be a bad idea so I never thought about it again. My Mom has the ability to comfort me more than anyone on the face of the Earth, but in the future I want that person to be my wife.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD