Originally Posted By: HerPapaBear
Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972
My wife has expressed that she is not ok with that, unless we actually do have other plans with another couple or together.


This says it all!

Openness and Honesty are high needs of your wife's! You better pay attention to that...



Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972
Is it a lie or a white lie? I don't know man,,,,,


Let me help you with this one before you end up going down a rabbit hole with no return;

It's Dishonesty!

There is no such thing as a half-truth, white lie, partial truth, etc. .......

They are all 100% LIES

When you leave out information that suits you...... It's a blatent lie!

It really is simplier than you think.

I hope that helps you get a handle on it..... wink I need the reminders too!

It used to be tough for me to understand prior to four years ago, not so much anymore.... we must keep it simple.


I'm not debating you on this, but I do want your perspective on honesty as it is different from what I understand it to be. If we do not want to hang out with someone, whether it be friends, my mother, her mother, etc, should we always be radically honest and say, "I'm sorry I just don't want to hang out with you tonight." If my wife and I prefer to play Scrabble rather than hang out with someone, can we not say, "I'm sorry we already have plans?" Or are you saying it is ok to say we have plans if we already agreed to play Scrabble, but it is not ok to tell them "we have plans" unless we specifically already spoke to each other and made a decision we were gonna stay home and play Scrabble? See the difference?

You said, "When you leave out information that suits you...... It's a blatent lie!" So if it suits me to not admit that I do not want to hang out with a certain friend, family member, or individual, then I am in fact lying? I will say again I think it is perfectly ok to tell someone, "Thanks for the invite, but we already have plans!" It appears that you do not think making that statement is ok, am I correct in understanding you?


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD