Originally Posted By: HopefulNC
The vasectomy has a higher chance of side effects than the IUD. FWIW. And, a higher chance of accidental pregnancies.

The copper IUD is a non hormonal option for your wife. However, I love my hormonal, low dose IUD. I have a high risk of blood clots and heart issues, and the IUD was cleared for me. Until my Lupus is stabilized a pregnancy could be life threatening for me, if I can ever carry to term.

There's a newly approved birth control pill for men, which I know nothing of, but it might be an option.


She was anti-IUD last night big time! I'm in a tough spot because I know my wife withheld SF from me because we mostly fell out of love until working on MB together. Then we had about a month or so of SF 1-2 times per week which we both very much enjoyed. Then the vasectomy talk really began to escalate to a fever's pitch about two weeks ago, and the sex stopped again. There was one night were we kind of fooled around but there was no sex which didn't turn out good. Then the other night I asked for it(this is very hard for me to do), got turned down, went downstairs because I felt neglected and wanted to start posting as this is my therapy of sorts. She said I was pouting, and invited me back up for SF. Other than that some things are going great, others are not, SF being one of them. I'm trying to look at it from her side, which is "I don't want to get pregnant," but like I've said before, SF is not up to me EVER. I remember I used to reach over to her in bed unannounced she would respond and we'd have sex. I would NEVER do that now, in fact I hesitate just to put my hand on her body in any way right now. Most of the time her body language says loud and clear, "DON't touch me, got it?"

She doesn't want me to plan babysitters so Date Night isn't up to me. Most things are not up to me because she just bulldozes me and I'm pretty easy going for the most part. I do not like being in this position. I'm gonna do my best to not LB and to meet EN's as my general plan and hopefully in the future she'll be more open and comfortable to letting me provide some input and make some decisions too.


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD