Originally Posted by HoldHerHand
Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
Originally Posted by CWMI
WTH, Hill. Stop reading women-bashing sites and stick with this program. Seriously. You will boff up your whole family. There is nothing that can go badly for you in the MB program.

Get serious here.

I don't subscribe to any other method other than MB. I was searching for better ways to understand how I'm feeling in this marriage. I found an article that I related to in a big way, in fact 80% of it was verbatim on exactly how I feel. We are continuing on our path of MB together and are committed, however I continuously struggle with this general feeling of being weak in this marriage. Its not that I want to "fight back" type of weak, what I mean is I've come to a point where I have very few opinions on much of anything, I'm afraid to make decisions, I'm afraid of messing up things that my wife wants me to do, and I am afraid to tell my wife what I need. So although we've made some progress, I currently go through life receiving what she'll give me, living with it, and not asking for more. Why is it so hard to express myself? My wife said my Mom and sister are the exact same way. When I do say how I'm feeling it never turns out so I become timid about it. I'll try again to use the workbook, or maybe write stuff down in my I-Phone as they happen, and then compile them to be shared with my wife later.

In other words, you found something that communicated how you were feeling.


Were you guys not using LB sheets?

Hill, I understand that you are going to do a lot of reflection, but wallowing in past pain isn't going to help you move FORWARD.

Yes it was helpful to find out some of the feelings I have because "playing in the game" I'm not always sure what they are if that makes sense. I know I feel bad, but I can't always tell why. Its like a big confusing haze that is hard to navigate.

No we were not using the workbooks to track LBs.

I wouldn't call it "wallowing in the past", I am making an honest effort to try and comprehend what the hell is going on in an effort to express myself which is the first problem. I tend not to. I bottle up. After 38 years of bottling up, it is hard to just change the next day you know? Many of my efforts of expressing myself are misguided or full of "guesses" as to how something makes me feel. When it comes to asking for EN's to be met, I just don't know how to handle the rejection, so I typically get upset and don't ask again. I told my wife I might want to meet with a therapist or SH to help me express myself better and not take rejection so hard.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD