Why are you expecting success when you skip important parts of the program like this?

I can't count the number of times I've mentioned that Dr. Harley and the coach he assigned us have told us that very few couples can successfully have a conversation where they tell each other, on the fly, about abusive behavior. It just doesn't work. It causes a fight, and you guys need to avoid fighting at all costs.

We've given you the way to communicate this without having a fight. Why don't you do it? Then plan doesn't work if it's not followed, Hill, and we really, really want you to follow it, because it really does work!


I do not believe expressing yourself is the first problem, and I do not recall Dr. Harley telling you this.


The way to handle that is to quit giving up and keep practicing inviting Grace to join you, while avoiding demands, disrespect, and anger.

I've written this before. It'll work if you do it, it won't work if you don't. If I write it again, will you try it? Can we get you focused back on working this plan to make things better in your marriage?