Originally Posted by Penni4Thoughts

It seems like the most bang for your buck would be the online program. Since you are both really engaged in learning MB, it seems like it would be a great choice for you two.

We are using all of the tools online, and it is working. We use the workbook, and are both reading HNHN for Parents, which is great. Some of this stuff is just a learning process that takes time.

Here is an example of me not being sure what to think about my wife's behavior. This morning my son got the paper and I made coffee and brought it up to her in bed. I wanted to start the day off right. She wasn't really "awake" yet so it didn't turn out but that is ok. When she did come down she was noticeably depressed, even said she was. My first instinct when she is depressed is that it is because of me. I walk on egg shells when she is depressed and don't feel good about anything until she comes out of her depression or we talk things through. She didn't come out of it so eventually I said, "Honey, I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say that I'm concerned about you." She said, "Look I have a lot on my mind and I'm just having a bad day. She told me it had nothing to do with me, it was just the baby is wearing her down(me too!) and she can't go back and workout at the gym anymore for now. So baby is clearly taking her toll on my wife. We are trying to get her adjusted to her crib, she doesn't like that, screams for 30-45 mins, sleeps for 10, then wakes up and screams some more. This is 3 times a day and it is brutal. I'm sure some of you remember those days or are going through them now.

I want to help my wife and assist, but she keeps declining my offers for help. If I start doing the dishes, she says, "you don't have to do that." If I offer to switch with her to feed baby she declines my help. The reason for this is because I had expressed that at times she asks me to do things all day long, I refer to them as "askathons." When she does this I feel taken advantage of. Keep in mind I already do more than the average Dad I believe. I shop for groceries, cook, do dishes, bath kids, etc. Ever since I mentioned that it bothers me when she does the "askathon" she says that "I'll never ask you anything again then!" I figured she was just upset and said that out of anger, but she has held to it. I told her that I didn't think this was the solution, nor was it done through POJA. I said I'd like to find a balance to which she declined again, confirming she won't ask me for anything ever again. I don't know what to do with this. When my wife asked me to do anything and everything for her, I felt taken advantage of. Now when my wife refuses my attempts to help her with anything, which makes me feel just as bad. This is very confusing to say the least.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD