I don't think helping Hilltopper and his wife with guideline three of negotiation is likely to be very helpful until they both feel that they've gotten through guidelines one and two. Brainstorming is fairly easy, as is research. Making the discussion safe and understanding each other's point of view are harder, and are prerequisites before the brainstorming will be much use.

If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.