Originally Posted by Prisca
I don't think helping Hilltopper and his wife with guideline three of negotiation is likely to be very helpful until they both feel that they've gotten through guidelines one and two. Brainstorming is fairly easy, as is research. Making the discussion safe and understanding each other's point of view are harder, and are prerequisites before the brainstorming will be much use.


The only way to get through this with both Hilltopper and Grace happy is to use the Four Guidelines for Negotiation. Nothing else will work.

Guilting Hilltopper into a vasectomy he doesn't want is not going to do anybody any good.

Thanks for the assist here. The possibility of having more children with another woman in the future has nothing to do with my feelings on having a vasectomy. It never crossed my mind. I'll reread Four Guidelines and start on #1 with wife.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD