I understand that he should not do anything if he is not enthusiastic. Just pointing out how this may come across to his wife, so he can explore her feelings.

They need to explore the other methods of birth control besides condoms or vasectomy. They need to explore other aspects of sex besides PIV intercourse. He needs to create a safe environment to discuss these things so she can share her truth.

I wrote what I would be thinking if I were his wife. I doubt she would admit to thinking those thoughts if she were thinking them. As he tries to create a safe environment for her, he needs to take into account that she may have fears he cannot imagine.

When you can see it coming, duck!