Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
She won't do anything with me. Her reason for not doing other things is that it is unfair to her.

Then you need to make it fair for her and please her too. SF is supposed to be the fulfilling of BOTH your needs, not just one. If she gets no enjoyment, then it is very unlikely she will want to do that.

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She repeatedly said she doesn't respect me nor my need for SF. She thinks that the marriage is more important and that I should just wait it out.

If the marriage is important to her, then she would be doing to enhance the marriage, rather than doing things that destroy it. She is detroying her marriage so her words don't match her actions. If she feels the marriage really is important, then why isn't she doing the things to maintain it, like meeting her husbands basic emotional needs? Neglecting her husband sure does not demonstrate that she places any importance on her marriage at all.

Rather, it sounds like she wants "unconditional love," which is harmful to marriages. She wants to contribute nothing but expects to receive all the benefits of a married woman. She is destroying your marriage with that approach.

So I would ask her how long she expects to remain married under those conditions? It wont' last forever.

You really need to keep this issue on the front burner until it is resolved. This is too important to your marriage. Have you considered getting marriage coaching from one of Dr Harley's kids?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101