Grace is having trouble seeing how the two of you can negotiate a win-win solution on birth control. Most people, probably almost everybody, is locked into the idea that it's got to be either your way or my way. She doesn't see a path forward with the negotiation route, and her instincts are telling her that the only way to get anything done is to revert to the old habit of independent behavior.

Dictatorships appear to be "efficient" but of course they don't build love, which is what you really need.

Stay calm. Of course.

And stay the course. Stay respectful, stay open and honest about what you need, do not be demanding. Review some of Dr. Harley's Q&A articles regularly to keep yourself focused on on track.

I wish you guys could've gotten a chance to negotiate on smaller issues first before this, but this is the situation you are in.