Originally Posted by heartfelt_1
I believe that-- now that we are well-settled down into the marriage-- I feel uncomfortable being SO "settled". There's not enough excitement or energy to it...just the day-to-day of being married and parents and keeping up a home.

- Does anyone know if...Dr. Harley ever advises a person that she should have never gotten married in the first place?
- Does Dr. Harley believe that some people are simply not "marriage material"?

What you have described here is someone who has fallen out of love. You have fallen out of love with your husband because you don't do the things necessary to maintain romantic love. In order to fall in love, a couple needs to spend 20+ hours per week meeting the top 4 INTIMATE emotonal needs of affection, conversation, rec companionship and sexual fulfillment. Without lovebusters, of course.

If you want to transform your marriage, that is where I would start. If you do this, you will start noticing a dramatic difference in about 6-8 weeks. It does not take long. [follow the program in Fall in Love, Stay in Love]

If you do consider counseling, I would go for marriage counseling with the Harleys. The issue is your marriage and that is what needs to be addressed. You should know the Harleys do not counsel couples in crisis together anyway. They would split your hour on the phone. Others here have gone through the Marriage Builders course, which is really your fastest horse, because you get an assigned marriage coach that guides your lessons on a weekly basis and you have daily access to Dr Harley.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101