The very definition of "ultimatum" is a demand, "one whose rejection will end negotiations and cause a resort to force or other direct action."

She may give in and do what he wants, but she will likely feel forced and resentful. She will feel threatened.

Dr. Harley's articles seem to suggest the Plan A/Plan B approach.


Doesn't a spouse usually do that when they enter into Plan B?


In my case, though, when Markos did do this to me, I just went further into withdraw.

I am not saying to not let her know that there is an unmet need here. He should be honest that he needs SF, and he's hurting. But I don't believe he is going to do any good by making an ultimatum. I believe she will see him as demanding and threatening, and he will only drive Grace further away.

I think he should only make such an ultimatum if he has the explicit permission of Dr. Harley to do so I think it's a very risky move.



No, he should not tell her that unless he is going into Plan B today. She's familar with MB. She knows she's draining his lovebank. She knows unconditional love is a myth. She knows he's falling out of love with her because of this. She knows she's killing her marriage. She knows it is her responsiblity to take care of his EN.

It would be interesting to get Dr. Harley's take on this.

I can sort of see where you're coming from. It just looks very risky to me.