Originally Posted By: markos
Originally Posted By: Hilltopper1972
In fact she sent me a text stating that she will just have to put up with all the resent she has for me and handle the birth control situation herself.


Grace is having trouble seeing how the two of you can negotiate a win-win solution on birth control. Most people, probably almost everybody, is locked into the idea that it's got to be either your way or my way. She doesn't see a path forward with the negotiation route, and her instincts are telling her that the only way to get anything done is to revert to the old habit of independent behavior.

Dictatorships appear to be "efficient" but of course they don't build love, which is what you really need. smile

Stay calm. Of course. smile

And stay the course. Stay respectful, stay open and honest about what you need, do not be demanding. Review some of Dr. Harley's Q&A articles regularly to keep yourself focused on on track.

I wish you guys could've gotten a chance to negotiate on smaller issues first before this, but this is the situation you are in.


This issue is big and I wish we had a chance to negotiate on smaller things first as well. There never was negotiation in our marriage. Typically, unless really important to me, I did whatever she wanted. I researched Vs, came to my own conclusions about it and she flat out doesn't respect my decision. I rarely told her no in the past which is why I said I'd get a V in the first place.


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD