Originally Posted by markos
Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
I let her know that I didn't want a marriage where SF is off the table.

Statements like these are very easily perceived as threats. And threats of course are a horrible love buster.

A lot of advice focuses on trying to "get your message across" and really just shows you how to add drama to what you are saying. Drama is absolutely not what you need. smile It's best to focus on cause, effect, and facts, and keep things simple:

"I would like to keep negotiating about sex and birth control. I would like to find a way that we can start meeting each other's SF need again as soon as possible."

Ok this is where everybody gets off track. I can understand how you perceive that statement. To be more clear I never said I'd leave her, I said I wanted to negotiate a resolution because I don't want a marriage where there is no sex. Now I suppose at some point in the future maybe there would be that road to cross, but for the time being I just want to get to a point where SF is part of our lives.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD