Originally Posted by Jackblack
>>There is still a lot of resent because I said I'd get a V after the third kid because a buddy of mine did.<<

Hill this seems to be where your problem lies. You said you would get a vestectomy and now you are not. Some people would see this as a crediblity issue.
I am not arguing the merits of a v I have never thought of getting one myself, but you are stuck with having said you would get one. Where is the follow through?

I can see your wife over the next few months working up and getting her tubes tied. Your sex life will probably improve some what but what you will be left with is, when it comes to the big test, your wife will have followed through and you have not.
I would chop an arm off before I ever let that happen.
How will you mitigate this?

Yes this is the single biggest source of resent in my wife. She sees it as unfair and unjust in a way I suppose. I said I'd get one to please her which was dishonest to the extent that I never researched it and learned about everything involved. So now she's feeling like everything has been dumped in her lap and I get that. She told me she doesn't respect that decision, nor the reasons why I feel that a V is not for me. So now we are still at the, "Well, if you would have had a vasectomy...." stage. It never ends at by the sound of it I don't think she'll EVER get over this. I've learned not to please her anymore in terms of just giving in and it has become a source of conflict only because I assume she liked it the way it was before?

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD