Originally Posted By: MelodyLane
Originally Posted By: SusieQ


This reminded me of when chickadee's FWH was on the radio show ~ his need for SF wasn't being met so he sought it outside the M. Basically, Dr Harley talks to chick's FWH about how when their negotiations did not improve their sex life, what he should have done was acknowledged that he couldn't stay in a M without SF, been transparent about it, and sought D if his EN still wasn't being met.

Part 1
Part 2

Towards the end of the second segment there is talk about what happens when you ignore your taker.

I think it might be beneficial to you, HT, to listen to these segments. HTH...


Did you listen to this, HTH? [thanks for posting it, Susie]


I will at some point. By the way my wife won't come back to the forums. I'd really love her to. We grew and learned so much and all of us helped us which I thank you for tremendously. We're in conflict right now. We had a lovely finish to the night, and a nice morning, then out of nowhere she sends me an email telling me that I must respect her decision about birth control. That she doesn't respect nor trust me and that I've been dishonest our entire marriage. The dishonesty stems from me holding my feelings in mind, not what I would call traditional lying. So she doesn't know when she can believe me or not, and also that she doesn't want to discuss it anymore. In the middle of all of these things she sends me an apology that says, "I'm sorry I just get so emotional 5 times per day with kids, house, etc." Then she says she's taking off early for her hair cut even though I was not done working yet. I admit I replied, "aye aye captain" in a sarcastic manner, but she denies she was leaving without my consent. So what do I do? She shuts down every conversation we have about 10 minutes into it.

I hide my feelings from her because I don't like the conflict as I'm sure half of this forum does or did at some point. For her to call me "the biggest liar" in the world to my face about doing so just seems unfair. I'm working on being honest about everything and not bottling up how I'm feeling, but I'm just so confused and lost with how to handle her. Sure I say I'm just gonna meet her needs and avoid LBs, but I don't know how to read her. She loves me one minute and then I'm in the doghouse the next. She describes my behavior as if I'm some serial cheater or a compulsive liar.


Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD