Originally Posted by heartfelt_1
But DH and I had UA time last night (as well) and I feel that I am on the right path. I noticed something last night, though: DH behavior is going to remain the same. DH already says that I meet his needs, that he is in love with me, and that I am the one with the "problems". I am going to have to fall in love all over again even though there is obviously something about his current behavior that is not meeting some of my needs.

heartfelt, your H needs to read your thread so he understands how dangerous this man is to your marriage. If he doesn't know that he has just escaped the jaws of infidelity, that needs to change. And you both need to quietly step away from the OM and cut him out of your life. Have you removed him your facebook? Removed him in every way from your lives? Because if you don't, your efforts with your husband won't help much because of the contrast effect. Radical honesty with your husband has to be the first step, though.

Something about the idea of trying to fall in love with DH makes me nervous, too. It's just that: if I fail (to fall in love again), that means my entire life is going to change and the lives of my children.

Thats a curious statement. I don't understand why you say your life and the life of your children is going to change if you can't though. Why? Do you already have a plan in place to leave your husband for this OM? Yes you will fall in love again if you this program correctly, but you are going to have to be honest with your husband and remove this OM.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101