Mel,
It was a long time ago but (something like) I had "feelings for" his friend. I threw in the word infatuation to be clear. He translated that into basically I want to **[SF]** his friend. I told him that OM and I email each other and asked if he wanted to read the emails. He declined.

I have said many times, "I don't think you should be friends." DH would then make some snide comment about his friend's feelings (or lack thereof) for me.

Since then if his friend was on his way to our home and I changed outfits before OM was to arrive, DH would say: "You just want to look your best for (him)."

What I did NOT say was: Yes, you are correct. I thought many times about how I might **[SF]** your friend. Whether he "loves" me or not is not the issue. I realize that I don't "love" him, either, for that matter. But I thought I did. Yes, I thought I loved your friend. You should stop being friends with this person because everytime I see him and everytime I hear his name, I remember those feelings I had. Have. My boundaries have been compromised and I want to rebuild them. I need to rebuild them for us and for our family.

<-- Don't make me say it. Can you come up with something...nicer?