Originally Posted by Hilltopper1972
Yes she knows and again that is just how she is. Neither one of us were threatened by it. We know all about EP. What we agreed is that despite us both promising each other and ourselves that we'd never cheat on each other, is that things happen when needs are met by another. No one goes into it making a conscious decision to betray a spouse. It just happens so we agreed that the absolute best thing we can do for each other is to schedule and spend time together. We came up with other couples we know and there is a direct correlation between UA time and a healthy marriage. In other words, we've seen it in our own marriage when done properly and we've seen it in other couples. This is our plan and we never should have gotten lazy about it in the first place.

HT, like the others, I am pretty concerned about what happened at this party.

And now I am even more concerned after reading this type of doubletalk, excuse-making post as the one above.

If you KNOW about EPs and still didn't use them...and aren't that upset with each other for crossing the line...this tells me that you both don't REALLY think the other (or yourself) is at risk for an affair, which actually puts you at the MOST risk for having an affair.

And the ANSWER when you both cross the line isn't: "We have slipped up with UA time!" Oh dear.

What you should be saying is, What steps do we take to eliminate independent behavior and make sure our love banks are closed to members of the opposite sex?

Sexymamabear writes it best when she says that EPs are the cornerstone to the MB program in terms of affair-proofing your marriage...because there WILL BE times when you aren't meeting each other's needs.

So here's a EP plan for you BOTH:

No flirting with members of the opposite sex
No intimate conversation with members of the opposite sex
No sexual innuendo with members of the opposite sex
No affection (kissing, even a peck on the lips) with members of the opposite sex
If you two are going to functions where you will be drinking (lowered inhibition), no baby and you STAY TOGETHER.

And I will add: I don't think you two should be going to the gym without each other. Affairs start at gyms and I think this is risky for even a healthy marriage. You two shouldn't be taking these types of risks. Most gyms have babysitting, you should be going TOGETHER even if you don't work out together.

Last edited by SusieQ; 09/05/11 07:16 PM.
Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B