Originally Posted by MrNiceGuy
Hill ... I am sorry things are not going well for you, or at least not getting better. Are you managing to get in 15hrs a week of UA? I know i am not consistantly .. but when my wife and I do, it sure makes a difference. We recently had a huge blow out in the family (you can see my thread if you like) and it took a huge toll on my wife and I .. almost regressed us back to a horrible state .. doesnt take much time at all to make massive LB withdrawls to make things ugly again. The UA is SUPER important .. once we got back on track with our UA things started to turn around again to the positive.

Make sure to take notice of whatever is distracting you from eachother and try to eliminate those things or get through them as quickly and painlessly as possible.

Does your wife still think MB is a good tool? Does she ever mention MB materials on certain things? Is there anything she consistantly complains about? and HOw are things going for avoiding Love Busters? Some times its not necessarily that your not getting in enough UA time too .. sometimes the UA time is being misused and the love busters drain out the love units that are deposited which makes it seem like all efforts to be romantic are futile which in turn sends you both into conflict .. or withdrawl very quickly ... and remember .. each time those nasty lovebusters come out on top again ... its like going back to day 1 or starting your love bank account in neutral .. or in the red on an overdraft. Gotta pay those dues! .. and stay out of "debt". Its hard ... i struggle with this sometimes still. Not so much as I used to .. but once in a while we slip into our old ways and realize my wife and I are back into conflict or withdrawl again and have to work at it to build each other back up.

Stay the path my friend. Avoid ALL lovebusters ... and when they pop in on you remember your back at the beginning again.

You can do it! .. just keep posting and we will hand out the 2x4's as necessary. :P


Its funny you mentioned it. I sent my wife a text saying that from my perspective UA time is the only thing that truly impacts a marriage. I asked her some questions about how she would like me to "plan" things to which she ignored. My wife doesn't answer questions and Prisca I won't judge to the why that is. smile My wife is not a fan of MB. If I suggest workbook she half agrees but never takes action. She hates the forum and thinks it is the root of all evil. The only consistent LB on my part which is about once every few months is me holding in my feelings and not telling her right away if I'm not happy.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD