Originally Posted by itistoughlove
This is why Dr. Harley talks about Plan B.

The love you have for her at the moment is draining. If she is engaging in IB and DJ herself, then your bank is taking a hit.

Dr. Harley suggests a man can only take this up to two years, and then you must go into Plan B.

Where is your love bank with her today? Are you feeling it approach zero?

It might be time to sit down and discuss how you honestly feel with her. If she makes the environment hostile while you speak the truth, kindly remove yourself and then put your thoughts in a letter.

She needs to know her behavior is causing you to lose your love and this may result in divorce.

Explain to her how much you enjoy meeting her needs, and ask her why she doesn't think you are admirable. Ask her if there is anything you are doing to cause her unhappiness. Explain to her how some of her behaviors are causing you unhappiness.


We've been through this so many times. I've changed so much as a person and in our marriage, in fact how I view life. I'm different with people I work with, my family, friends, etc. I don't know where my love bank is, all I know is that I'm back to out of energy again and feel like throwing my hands up.

As far as considering Plan B, I just can't envision it, or at least right now. My life ain't all that bad all things considered. I hate to bring up my wife's family again, and I'd never do it in front of her, but the truth is no one has cracked her mother after 60+ years so I don't see things on my side. Her Dad lives a crappy life with that lady and just keeps the peace to get by every day. My situation isn't nearly that bad so I figure I have more than two years to see if I can get her to adjust just a little.

Married 15 years
12 y/o DD
10 y/o DS
6 y/o DD