Originally Posted By: Prisca
Originally Posted By: itistoughlove
I would say you may want to prepare for Plan B. Start to map out what your life might look like.


In a non-affair situation, Dr. Harley does not recommend Plan B for most men who are being neglected.


Yes. This is spelled out in When to call it quits, part 3

Originally Posted By: Dr Harley
Even if an affair is not ongoing, a separation can lead to one. One of my cardinal rules to prevent an affair is to avoid being separated overnight. A deliberate separation increases the risk of an affair, and can turn a difficult marriage into a disaster.

There are also legal considerations. If a husband separates from his family, he can be accused of abandoning his children. If the marriage ends in divorce, he risks losing the right to joint custody. So an attorney should always be consulted before separating. When a woman wants to separate, she does not have the same legal problems because most courts let her stay in the home with her children. It's the husband who must leave.

If the husband chooses to separate, his children often feel that he's left them. It makes it very difficult for him to explain why he's taking such a drastic step, especially if sex is the problem. But if a wife asks him to leave, the children are still with her. She doesn't need to do as much explaining.

When a husband has children in the home, the risks and problems of separation often outweigh the rewards. After discussing the pros and cons of a separation because of sexual problems, most husbands I've counseled decide not to separate, and I go back to work trying to convince their wives to make love to them. There are three female coaches on our staff and I lean heavily on their instincts and persuasive skills when trying to address this problem.


Believe me, I've given this issue a lot of thought in the last few years. I'm fortunate in that my wife (mostly) embraces MB, and I trust that she is doing what she can within the limits of our current circumstances.

Hill - would your W consider speaking with Jennifer Harley-Chalmers? She got through to my W and might be able to help yours...just a thought.


Me - 44
DW - 39
Married 16 years
DS10
DS6
DD4