Originally Posted By: Prisca
Tough,

Hilltopper should only consider Plan B under the direct counsel of Dr. Harley, not this board. You are pushing for something that Dr. Harley doesn't usually advise men to do.

Yes, unconditional love is not the goal. But Dr. Harley doesn't advise men to leave in order to escape that unconditional love. Hilltopper needs to be concentrating on winning his wife back. He is not approaching any limit here. Plan B is a dangerous distraction in this case.


I have never once advised him to leave. Plan B isn't about leaving or divorce, and never had I said for him to leave his home. I also said he has plenty of time still left in Plan A. I was discussing that Plan B could be an option down the road because he deserves to have his needs met as well.

Who are we to tell this man how long he should go or if his love bank is done. We aren't in that position. We are in the process of marriage building, and a one-sided marriage does nobody any good. He will know when his love bank is nearing zero. Creating a marriage that is unconditional love doesn't do him any good either.

What happens then a man risks an affair. The goal is to get him to place where he still has love for his wife. If she doesn't respond to him and he has given it plenty of time (Dr. H says at least 2 years) then he should look at Plan B so he doesn't risk an affair, become super resentful, or in the end hate his wife!!

Please don't put words in my mouth folks. I never told him to leave or think about leaving. I suggested he look at his life if this doesn't turn around. What does he want for his life?

He can only control himself. This site has never been saving all marriages. The last thing is a man completely drained of his love. Will his boundaries stick?