Originally Posted by itistoughlove
I have never once advised him to leave. Plan B isn't about leaving or divorce, and never had I said for him to leave his home.
Plan B IS leaving. If he were to go to Plan B, meaning he cut off all contact with her whatsoever, she will most definitely feel like he left her.

I also said he has plenty of time still left in Plan A. I was discussing that Plan B could be an option down the road because he deserves to have his needs met as well.
And I am saying that Dr. Harley does not advise Plan B for a man who is not in an affair situation.

Who are we to tell this man how long he should go or if his love bank is done.
It's not US telling him that. It's Dr. HARLEY.

We aren't in that position. We are in the process of marriage building, and a one-sided marriage does nobody any good. He will know when his love bank is nearing zero. Creating a marriage that is unconditional love doesn't do him any good either.
Nobody's arguing with that.

What happens then a man risks an affair. The goal is to get him to place where he still has love for his wife. If she doesn't respond to him and he has given it plenty of time (Dr. H says at least 2 years) then he should look at Plan B so he doesn't risk an affair, become super resentful, or in the end hate his wife!!
That is not why Dr. Harley recommends Plan B. He actually says that separation puts a man more at risk for an affair.

The solution to affair proofing is boundaries. Plan B has nothing to do with it.

Please don't put words in my mouth folks. I never told him to leave or think about leaving. I suggested he look at his life if this doesn't turn around. What does he want for his life?
Plan B is essentially leaving. Plan B isn't a tool to save marriages. It is a tool to protect the betrayed spouse in an affair situation. Dr. Harley says he sometimes recommends that a neglected woman separate and go to Plan B. He RARELY recommends that for a neglected man.

If you disagree with Dr. Harley's position on this, might I recommend you talk it over with him before continuing to suggest to a neglected man (NOT a BS) to consider Plan B?

He can only control himself. This site has never been saving all marriages. The last thing is a man completely drained of his love. Will his boundaries stick?

If they don't stick, it won't be because of Grace.

Markos' Wife
8 kids ...
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